As First Sun hits the proverbial shelves, I am overcome with a completely irrational urge to rewind time just a few weeks to when I had complete control over who could read it. Only those I trusted most were granted access into the precious world I had created in the depths of my imagination. Now it is out there. It no longer belongs just to me. It belongs to whoever wants it. And that, my friends, is the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced.
Sure, I signed up for this. Ever since I wrote the first line (which in reality now lives somewhere in the middle) I dreamed of the day I could hold it in my hands and place it on my shelf amongst all of my favorite books. But as I picture family, friends, acquaintances and perfect strangers hunkering down within the pages of my beloved book with the freedom to scrutinize at their discretion, that dream shatters into a crippling fear. What if they don't like it? What if they tell me they liked it, but they really didn't? How do I even know who's read it? What if I'm talking to someone and they've read it but I don't know they've read it? What if hardly anyone actually reads it? What if…what if…WHAT IF? 
Unfortunately, there are no answers to these questions and there probably never will be. So perhaps I will leave them here to fester instead of in my mind and go forth and write. Because that's where all of this started in the first place - with a love of the written word.
 


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